Finding Yourself: A Journey Through Teenage Uncertainty

Meet Abraham, one of our amazing mentors, who knows firsthand the pressure of making major life decisions during teenage years. Through his experience, he emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and journaling, while reassuring teens that uncertainty is normal and they are not alone in their struggles.

Being a teenager is hard enough as it is. You are still trying to figure out who you are. Adding in family and social pressure to live up to certain expectations makes it even harder.

 When I was in high school, I felt pressured to figure out exactly what I wanted to do with my life. This included major life decisions, like whether I wanted to go to college, what I would study, what career path I would choose, and even where I wanted to live. 

Ultimately, I decided to go to college, to finally have my own independence, and to major in Biochemistry. At that point, I thought I wanted to be a neurologist.

However, when I got to college, I struggled with the uncertainty of figuring out who I was and what I wanted to do. I felt alone, since I thought everyone around me had it figured out. As I learned more about my prospective major and career path as a neurologist, I wasn’t sure I would enjoy it. I thought everyone around me felt comfortable in their major, and thought changing majors would set me back. That is truly not the case, and a lot of people in college question their major and career path. I ultimately decided to change my major to Psychology since I was taking a few psychology courses out of interest, and absolutely fell in love with it.

Overcoming Uncertainty

Over time, I found that having independence in college helped me reflect on myself – without the distraction or pressure of societal and familial expectations. I was able to ask myself difficult questions: who am I, who do I want to become? I knew that I wanted to become a person I could be proud of and that my younger self could look up to.

This is where journaling became very beneficial for me. I was able to write down feelings as they arose, and express what my gut was telling me. I would read these entries out loud to myself, to fully process those thoughts.  Some of my entries were about how much I disliked my major, and how unhappy I was with it, and I compared it to how excited I was when I was going to my psychology classes. Reading those back out loud really showed me how miserable I was, and how I needed to make a change for myself.

I learned that it is okay to be uncertain, and that we are all works in progress. When those negative thoughts would start to occupy my mind, saying, “I will never figure out my future”, I would take a step back and question them. “Are these thoughts true…are these thoughts helpful… how can I reframe these thoughts?” 

Do Not Settle, and Change is Okay

Looking back on my teen years, I took the time to reflect on what I truly wanted for myself. I went off of auto pilot when I became independent in college, and began to ask myself deeper questions about what made me truly happy and satisfied. I learned to not settle, and that change is okay. Change can be scary, and trying out new things can be scary as well, but it is all worth it in the end instead of settling for something that does not make you happy.

Knowing I can be a part of guiding a teen through an uncertain time, and help them recognize things they were never able to recognize about themselves, makes me extremely happy, satisfied, and provides me with purpose. I want teens to know they are not alone in this, and that they are not the only ones struggling through this, since I went through it as well. Uncertainty is not a dead end.