Yeah, I’m a little weird. So what?

In this blog, you’ll hear from one of our inspiring mentors, Destinee, who shares her personal story of overcoming negative thoughts.

Focusing on my flaws

While staring into the mirror as a teenager, I became really good at picking out my flaws.

Honestly, I couldn’t NOT pick them out. My nose was too big, my eyebrows too thick, and my teeth weren’t perfectly straight… the list went on. Every pimple that popped up felt like a mountain on my face screaming “Look at me!”

Middle school was torture for me because I was the new kid (again), and the bullies were worse.

I was already quiet, and middle school just made me even more shy.

By the time I made it to high school, whenever I looked in the mirror, I didn’t just see my physical flaws. I saw the awkward, quiet girl that I really didn’t want to be.

In high school, I was still the same person, but people didn’t pay attention to me anymore. My quietness had successfully earned me a spot in the background, away from bullies and from everyone else.

Ninth grade passed without incident, but I became restless. I was tired of my shyness, my lack of confidence, and my overwhelming nervousness whenever I was put on the spot. But I didn’t know how to change any of it. If I put myself out there, wouldn’t people just see how awkward, ugly, and weird I was?

They would laugh at me again… I just knew it.

Still, I decided to try. After all, I was in newspaper class, and I loved it. But newspaper class meant I had to interview people for stories, and the sheer anxiety I felt every time I did it was exhausting. I needed to become more confident. But how?

Finding Self-Confidence

First off, I started challenging my automatic negative thoughts. Every time I interviewed someone for the newspaper, I’d constantly think about how weird I probably seemed to them. So, I challenged that thought by asking myself, what if they DIDN’T think I was weird? And even if they did, what did it MATTER?

I began to realize that it didn’t matter what they thought. I was still getting my interviews done, and I still loved my newspaper class.

I also reflected on people I thought were weird. Just because they seemed weird to me didn’t mean I didn’t like them. Honestly, I liked “weird” people more than I liked “normal” people. So, what if people liked me MORE because I was weird?

And those pimples that I couldn’t outrun or hide with makeup — did anyone really even notice them? I didn’t notice other people’s pimples, and even if I did, it didn’t matter to me. 

Slowly, I embraced my weirdness and challenged my nervousness. I convinced myself that just because I was nervous during my interviews didn’t mean I couldn’t do a good job. I was getting good grades and writing articles people liked, so didn’t that mean I was doing something right?

I realized that acting confident (even when I was really nervous) made me seem like a confident person.

Changing Your Mindset

To this day, I still get nervous when I’m put on the spot, but so many people tell me that they see me as a confident person…If they only knew… haha.

My point is, challenge yourself. You can’t change who you are over night, but you CAN change your thoughts. Flip that thought around in all different directions. Maybe they aren’t actually thinking about you that way? Or maybe if they are, it isn’t that big of a deal?

Try it. You’ll probably like it.