Learning to Accept Change
Meet Anjolie, one of Appa’s mentors, who delves into her transformative journey of embracing change. In this blog, Anjolie reflects on the pivotal transitions she experienced during her teenage years and offers insights into the strategies she's acquired to build resilience.
Life is about change, whether we like it or not. This could be changing schools, adjusting to new classes, or joining a new friend group. It can take us by complete surprise or we could be fully aware and prepped. Change is a mixed bag of emotions–scary, exciting, or hopeful, but in all, change is necessary.
Transitioning from middle to high school
I remember during the transition from middle to high school, I felt like a fish out of water. I was in way over my head — making new friends, and adjusting to the rigors of school was incredibly daunting. I did not know how to approach this new environment head on. With social anxiety and my genuine fear of how others perceived me, I was overwhelmed and terrified. Unfortunately, I continued through high school with my self-confidence at an all time low and I did not learn how to adapt.
Instead of taking this transition as a new opportunity, I fell into poor habits and allowed myself to be consumed by my fear and anxiety. Bearing this in mind, it is imperative how we choose to respond in these situations. You can learn to adapt or stand idly by. It is ultimately your choice whether to accept change or not. While easier said than done, what I’ve noticed as the driving force behind my resistance to change is the relinquishing of control. I enjoy being in control and the thought of loosening the reins rarely crosses my mind.
Facing the unknown
It is scary to step outside of your comfort zone and face the unknown. However, change is good, a part of life we must accept, and a means for new opportunities. When you think about it, what makes life interesting? Change. Without change we are unable to grow, we stay stagnant, and life passes by. Imagine living every day doing the same routine for the rest of your life – life would be incredibly bland. When confronted with change it can be all consuming and intimidating, however empowering yourself with healthy ways to roll with the punches can make the transition smoother and a positive experience.
Strategies to build resilience:
Let yourself feel— your feelings are 100% valid, allow space to express how you feel. We can often invalidate our feelings in a challenging situation, but keep in mind that what you’re feeling is normal and okay.
Learn to focus on things within your control—when dealing with change it’s natural to fixate on things we cannot control, posing the question,“what if?”. The sooner you shift your energy onto what is in the scope of your control, the easier it will be.
Trust the process—at times you can feel disheartened or worried about a new change in your life and the negative can cloud your view of seeing the positive. However, trust the process, and know that with time things will get better.
Reach out—never feel like you’re going through this alone, reach out to a friend, parent, or your mentor. We’ve all been there and trust me, we get it.
You have the power in how you respond to any given situation, growing a resilient mindset can help you develop better coping skills when faced with adversity. Know that you are way stronger than you think, you have faced your fair share of trials and tribulations and remind yourself that you have gotten out on the other side. Life isn’t an easy journey, but as we learn and evolve we can look back and be proud of how far we’ve come.