Social media is particularly harmful to teens. Here’s why and how parents can help.

The rise of platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and YouTube has many parents concerned about the effects of social media on their child’s well-being. 

Recent research shows that those concerns are well-founded. Some experts believe that social media use is a greater risk factor for poor mental health in young people than binge drinking, drug use, and lack of exercise. 

Here are some of the reasons why social media can be particularly harmful to teenagers, as well as some strategies to encourage your teen to build a healthier relationship to social media. 

Stunting in-person social development 

One of the most important developmental tasks of adolescence is figuring out how to navigate friendships, relationships, and conflict. 

Teens learn these abilities through lots of small interactions where they can try out new social skills and read non-verbal cues like body language and facial expressions. When too many in-person interactions are replaced by social media interactions, teens miss out on learning these critical social skills. This can leave teens feeling unsure of themselves and socially anxious when they have to interact face-to-face. 

Lowered self-esteem

Teens are hyper aware of social groups and are incredibly sensitive to how they are perceived by others. Social media turns all of these anxieties up to 11. 

Envy is amplified

Teens on social media are constantly looking at posts of people going to exciting events, having fun with friends, and celebrating accomplishments. This can cause feelings of intense envy — even when the pictures and videos don’t reflect reality. 

It can also make exclusion feel even more painful. Imagine not getting invited to a party but then having to look at hundreds of pictures from that party the next day. It’s no wonder that teens today talk so much about FOMO (fear of missing out).

Popularity is visible to everyone 

Popularity is quantifiable in a way it never was before. Every photo and post has a public number of likes, comments, and reactions.

If your photo has 10 likes, but your friend’s photo has 100, it can cause a stinging feeling that you’re not good enough.  

Unrealistic beauty standards are everywhere 

On TikTok there are literally hundreds of filters available by default that allow you to put on virtual makeup or even alter the shape of your face. Open Instagram and you’ll be bombarded with airbrushed photos of “fit-fluencers” fresh out of the gym. 

All of this leads to a social environment in which teens feel like they can never look good enough.

The conversation around unrealistic standards often focuses on young girls, but the problem is just as real for boys too. There are thousands of accounts where men show off physiques that are impossible to attain without steroids. 

How to help

It will probably be counterproductive to try to cut out social media from your teen’s life completely. But the good news is that there are several simple things you can do as a parent to minimize its harmful effects. 

Set a good example 

One of the most impactful things you can do is model healthy behavior yourself. Spending too much time on these platforms can send the wrong message to teens about what is healthy. 

This doesn’t mean giving up technology, or even giving up social media completely. But whenever possible, try to think about other ways to keep in touch virtually with friends and family like video-chatting, phone calls, or texting. These methods don’t seem to have the same negative effects that platforms like Facebook and Instagram do. 

Try establishing boundaries around technology use

Simple boundaries around technology usage can do a lot to set expectations around healthy behavior.

For example, many families ensure that no phones are allowed at the dinner table. Another strategy is to choose certain rooms in the house that are technology-free zones.

Be honest about your concerns 

Don’t start off a conversation by telling them to get off social media. Instead try having an open conversation about what their opinions are. It’s likely that your teen also has concerns about the effects of these platforms on society. 

Having those conversations can build trust between you and your teen and help to encourage moderate use. For tips on how to have meaningful conversations with your teen, click here. 

Encourage real-world activities

Teens who are busy with hobbies, activities, and in-person socializing will have less time to spend on social platforms. 

Do your best to provide them opportunities to do things they are passionate about, like sports, music, or art. And encourage them to hang out with friends in-person.

With even these simple strategies, you can do a lot to mitigate the harmful effects of social media.