7 tips to ease the back-to-school anxiety
It’s not uncommon for children to feel a bit anxious about starting school again. School can mean high expectations and heavy workload, peer pressure, and real danger - such as the risk of COVID or school lockdowns.
How can you tell if your child might be struggling with back-to-school anxiety or stress?
The warning signs of back-to-school anxiety in teens
Your teen might openly admit to feeling anxious and reach out to you for help. However, sometimes they keep their fears to themselves. What are the signs that your child might be worried about coming back to school? Try to talk to them if they:
Have frequent stomach aches and nausea, headaches
Have problems sleeping
Appear restless and fidgety
Withdraw from you and their friends
Get easily frustrated, have mood swings
Have no interest in their hobbies
Have difficulty concentrating or tend to ‘zone out’
If you’re not sure how to broach the subject, check out our articles on how to talk with your teen. Visit a doctor to exclude any medical problems if the physical symptoms persist.
How to help your teen with back-to-school anxiety
Focus on yourself first
Your teen can sense when you’re on edge, which fuels their own anxiety. Don’t suppress your feelings but instead learn how to manage them. Become a role model for your teen by showing them how to process emotions and deal with stressful situations.
Listen and acknowledge their fears
Listen to your teen without judgment and refrain from giving advice without being asked for it. Be mindful of your body language: lean towards them and maintain eye contact. This is the moment to give your child your full attention.
Acknowledge their fears without offering false assurances. Avoid saying things like:
‘It’s going to be okay’
‘You’ll be fine’
Your teen may see it as a dismissal and withdraw. Instead, validate their feelings:
‘I know this is difficult.’
‘That sounds terrible!’
‘You seem anxious. Is that what you’re feeling right now?’
Reassure them that you’re by their side and ask what you can do to help. Often, just listening can mean a lot.
Prepare a plan of action
A vague sense of dread only feeds your teen’s anxiety. Help them name their fears to make them more manageable. Now you can tackle them by creating a plan of action. Ask them:
What’s the worst-case scenario?
What can they do if it happens?
Think of possible solutions together. You can even role-play some of them to model potential responses and make your child feel more confident.
Adjust their routine
Going back to a normal routine after staying up late and sleeping in can also be a source of anxiety. To avoid it, encourage your child to adjust their day plan over a week or two. They should start going to bed and wake up earlier. Talk to them about reducing screen time before bedtime to help them sleep better.
Meal times are also important! Motivate your child to eat an early breakfast and lunch around the same time they would eat lunch at school.
Explore the school
Visit their school so your teen can familiarize themself with the environment. Talk them through the route to school. If your teen is going to drive, take them on a few test drives and help them find potential parking spots.
Map out the way to classes, bathrooms, changing rooms or cafeteria to help your child feel more comfortable and prepared once school starts. Depending on your child’s needs, check out how to get to a nurse’s and the school counselor’s offices.
Help them find coping skills that work
Equip your child with practical skills to help them cope with stress and other difficult emotions. Breathing and grounding techniques they can do anywhere and anytime are a good start. Motivate them to find different healthy ways of coping, such as:
Journaling
Meditation
Art
Physical activity
Find additional support
These strategies might not be sufficient for your teen. In that case, help them find more help. With their permission, reach out to their teacher and school counselor to explain the situation. Mentoring is another way to build a stronger support network for your teen. Finally, consider cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) as it can help your child become healthier and more resilient.
