Are my teen’s struggles normal? How to know if a teen needs mental health support
If you are a parent worried about your teen’s mental health, you aren’t alone.
In December of 2021, the U.S. Surgeon General issued a special advisory highlighting the urgent need to address the nation’s mental health crisis in youth.
The Covid-19 pandemic exacerbated what were already worrying trends. Distance learning added to academic stress and the time away from friends at school has left many teens socially isolated and insecure.
This has led many parents to wonder: How do I know if my teen needs additional mental health support?
Pay Attention to Functioning
As a clinical psychologist working with children, teens, and young adults, one of the first things I want to know more about is a person’s functioning.
Some of the first questions I ask are:
How are they eating and sleeping?
How are they doing in school and their extracurricular activities?
Are they still getting enjoyment out of their activities? Or are they avoiding things?
As a parent, you should ask these same questions when considering your teen’s needs. If the answers to these questions are cause for concern, then your teen will likely benefit from having mental health support.
Ask Questions to Get Your Teen’s Perspective
If you notice concerning changes in your teen’s behavior, pick a quiet, low-key time at home (or in the car) to ask them some gentle questions about how they’re thinking and feeling.
Try to ask open ended questions. Here are some examples:
“You’ve been seeming a little down. Is anything on your mind?”
“I notice you haven’t been sleeping that much lately and sometimes in the morning you seem stressed. Is there anything I can help with?”
“How have you been feeling about yourself lately?”
If they say “I don’t know,” don’t despair. Offer them potential choices. For example, if your teen says “I don’t know” when you ask if anything is on their mind, you could say “Are you stressed about school? Something with friends? Something at home?”
If they don’t give you much, let them know that they can always come to you for support and that you want to help them.
What to Do Next
If they do let you know that they are struggling, praise them for being open and honest. Let them know that you want to find resources to help them.
Introduce the idea of going to therapy or getting another kind of mental health support. One way to describe a therapist is as a supportive coach that can give them tips on how to feel better in a safe, private setting.
A great first step is consulting with your teen’s pediatrician or adolescent medicine doctor for resources and therapy referrals.
If you are concerned about your teen’s mental health, you are clearly a concerned and caring parent who is paying attention to the very real teen mental health crisis. Your support will be instrumental in helping your child thrive as a teen and beyond.
